yarpnews

Elves threaten Christmas Eve strike

In Crazy YarpNews, Entertainment, World on December 17, 2013 at 1:32 pm

Santa is too busy eating and drinking to care about the impending elf strike

Rumblings of dissatisfaction can be heard as far away as the North Pole today as the elves in Santa’s Workshop are threatening a Christmas Eve strike.

Apparently the elves are unhappy about the increasing number of gnomes being drafted in to help make toys. “The big nosed bastards are taking our jobs,” squeaked Teeny Weeny, spokeself for the two unions Elf and Safety and father of nine, “We have many mouths to feed – the gnomes must go home.”

In their defense, the gnomes are claiming unfair discrimination and demanding equal rights. “They are being so elfish,” moaned Jolly Buttons spokesgnome and father of 12. “We gnomes are just standing up for our rights. We wouldn’t be here if the mines hadn’t gone bust. We miner-orities have just as much right to earn a living as every one elf does. We only have short term contracts that are written in pixie dust, so I don’t see what the elves are complaining about.“

Santa Claus himself has refused to comment, but rumors are rife around the grotto that he has threatened any elf who strikes with the sack.

But it appears that the elves are not taking any threats seriously. “Santa, hah!’ cried Teeny Weeny. “He’s away with the fairies. When he’s not checking his list he’s eating. I personally think he may be bi-polar. One minute he’s up, one minute he’s down, one minute he’s in the North Pole, the next he’s in the South. You get what I mean? “

Fortunately, with the recent rise in bad kids appearing on the naughty list there is a marked downturn in toy requirements this year and so if the proposed strike does go ahead it may not even be noticed.

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