yarpnews

Bank offers free gift to nervous investors

In Crazy YarpNews on December 4, 2010 at 4:52 pm
Just part of the bank's golden gift package
Just part of the bank’s golden gift package

First National Bank for the Idle Rich in Connecticut, USA has today launched a new incentive, designed especially for high rolling prospective investors. Designed to take the fear and worry out of investing in today’s financial climate, new customers who wish to invest $50,000 or more are being offered the fun free gift of a gold plated suicide kit. The kit comes in a purple satin case, which contains a gold plated revolver complete with gold plated bullets, a bottle of pain killers, a bottle of gin and a noose together with a handy laminated ‘How To’ guide.

Bank Manager Takem Loot said, “We think this nifty little package will attract a lot of customers and will particularly appeal to those how are now more nervous of investing in the current economic climate.”

With Christmas looming around the corner the Bank also hopes to attract those looking for the ideal Christmas gift. “Our investor package would also make a great Christmas present for the man or woman who already has everything, which is always a headache during the festive season,” advised Mr Loot. “We have plans to hand them out dressed as Santa,” added the happy banker.

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