Smalls to sue the COK

In Crazy YarpNews on December 13, 2010 at 12:01 pm

Jacob Smalls (52), is suing Chalmouth On Krestwater’s Parish Gazette, ‘The COK’, claiming that during an article concerning his alleged affair with Post Mistress Felicity Ungst (27) his quotes were ‘unfairly and unjustly edited.’

According to his attorney, Angus McShister, Mr Smalls was quoted in The COK as saying: “I am sick to death of people,” when what he actually said was: “I am sick to death of people making up lies.” In another quote it was claimed that Mr Smalls said: “I am gross,” when what he actually said was: “I am grossly upset about your heavily biased reporting.” And in a third quote, which the COK reported as: “Your reporters are good,” should have actually read, “Your reporters are bastards, I’ve a good mind to report you all for harassment.”

The Editor of the COK Parish Gazette Mr Antony Newgent Aulgit refused to comment, but a spokesperson for the paper said that Mr Aulgit was a lovely, family man and any suggestion that Mr Aulgit fancied Miss Ungst and was jealous of her relationship with Mr Smalls was totally untrue. The Spokesman also added the Mr Aulgit was an honorable and forthright type of chap who bore no malice towards any person, but he really hated Mr Smalls and would do anything to see him publicly humiliated.


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