Pity the poor Polar Bear. Life in the Arctic Circle isn’t quite as good as it’s cracked up to be. It’s cold and windy and there isn’t much night life. Sure there is a lot of snow and plenty of opportunities to make a snowman, but once you’ve made one you’ve made them all. So when the days are long and the nights are short, what do you do to while away the hours?
Last year, the world learned that a crate of whisky had been found hidden under the explorer Shackleton’s hut in Antarctica. News of the find eventually reached the North Pole and this apparently gave the Polar Bears an idea. With the help of a lost Venezuelan backpacker, the bears created their very own brewery.
Conveniently located under the polar ice cap, the brewery’s Polar Beer has been a huge hit. So much so that it seems that the bears don’t want to do anything else other than party.
“This used to be quite a posh area, but now the place is littered with boozed up bears,” complained a sloshed seal. “I think it’s disgusting. They do nothing all day but get drunk. I wouldn’t care so much but when they’re drunk they never leave a tip… Do you want ice with that?”