Evil is the root of all money

In Crazy YarpNews on March 13, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Oooh Eeeeevil!

Money is the big focus in most people’s lives. Money can bring happiness with one hand and utter devastation with the other. This was a concern that kept top linguist Professor Dick Shunnary up at night. So much so that he dedicated the last fifteen years to trying to understand ‘money’ and how it affects us all.  

 “We were interested in understanding ‘money’,“ explained Professor Dick Shunnary. “We reasoned that if we could get a good grasp on ‘money’, we could probably find an answer to all of the world’s problems.

“We began with the phrase “Money is the root of all evil”. We looked at that phrase from every angle and after a while decided that the word ‘evil’ was a good place as any to start our research.  

“So we took ‘evil’ and examined it very closely. Looking closely at ‘evil’ is not a nice job I can tell you. I mean ‘evil’ is a nasty customer but we did it and what we discovered opened our eyes to a lot of things.

“Everyone knows that ‘evil’ is bad. When there is evil in the world there is a lot of ‘hate’ around too. So from that we can conclude that ‘evil’ is strongly linked to ‘hate’.

“To hate someone is a crime and as every criminal knows crime leads to ‘time’ – usually five to twenty years.

“Time is never to be wasted. It is a valuable commodity. Everyone is fully aware that ‘time is money’.  If time is money, then time equals money.

“So, in other words:

“EVIL leads to HATE which leads to CRIME which leads to doing TIME which equals MONEY.

“Therefore, ‘evil’ is actually the root of all ‘money’.

“Once we discovered that, we knew we were really on to something big. If ‘evil’ is the root of all money, then it is all ‘evil’s’ fault.”




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