yarpnews

Herd about the Billy Goats Gruff?

In Crazy YarpNews on March 16, 2011 at 10:02 am

One of the Billy Goats Gruff

It’s been four long goatless months, but readers worldwide will be pleased to hear that the Explosion! Museum at Priddy’s Hard in Gosport, UK has at last got some new goats.

The original herd escaped from their enclosure last November. It was initially thought the goats had found a hole in the fence, but it was later discovered that the animals had simply been able to squeeze between its bars.

The goats had been brought to the museum grounds to help battle the encroaching bushes and weeds that are choking the scheduled ancient monument.

It would seem that the goats were bothered by a group of workmen and so they had moved on to fresher, greener pastures.

“They kind of snuck out, so no one noticed at first,” explained the Museum’s Visitor Services Officer, Marc Urcard (31). “The first we heard of it was when a workman said he had stared at a goat and it had legged it. The next thing we knew we were getting a call from a neighbouring town saying three goats had turned up there. That was a hell of a feet, because those goats would have had to have crossed a pretty dangerous bridge to get there.”

Troll Bridge is well known in the local area for being notoriously difficult to navigate, but the three goats in question were found safe and well eating an old ladies washing.

“The three were brothers, so we called them the Billy Goats Gruff, after the fairy story,” joked Mr Urcard.

To prevent any further escapes more than a mile of mesh has been added to the perimeter fence and a new batch of 15 goats has been brought in.

The workmen who are thought to have originally spooked the other goats were there to witness the arrival of the new herd. After staring at them for a while a spokesman for the group said:

“They are not the same goats.”

 

The strange case of the drowned troll

What the heck is that?

Police are currently baffled about the discovery of a very strange creature found floating in Gosport River in the UK.

Apparently two workmen were passing the river when they came across what they later described to police as a ‘drowned troll’.

The body was fished out near Troll Bridge not far from the famous Explosion! Museum at Priddy’s Hard, and transferred to the morgue for a post mortem.

“It was a lot bigger, more plump, green and kind of warty when we first got it out of the water, but then it dried out and went all brown and crispy,” explained Coroner, Dr Don Diggin (56).

The creature was found near Troll Bridge and the fact that the witnesses described it as looking like a troll has lead local residents to speculate about what it could be. Dr Diggin would not confirm or deny whether the creature was in fact a troll.

“It really is a very unusual creature,” confessed the Doctor. “It may have troll-like qualities about it but then again it could be a goblin. I really don’t know.”

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