Blogger’s Blues is a very real problem that has recently been unrecognised by the medical health industry. Dr Professor Warren Sporran from Scottish University College, Kent, leading exponent of Blogger’s Blues theory warns that there may be millions of sufferers.
“Any Blogger can be affected,” states Dr Professor Warren Sporran. “The problem is that it can creep up unawares. One day you will be flying, the world buzzing with the power of your posts and the next you are blogging into a deep, empty void while praying for even a little spam.”
According to Dr Professor Sporran the first signs are becoming obsessed with stats. Anyone afflicted will find that their stat checking increases exponentially. This is OK while the stats continue to improve, but should they be subject to a sharp decline, Blogger’s Blues can suddenly increase.
At this time the Blogger will begin talking to the Web Gods. They will plead their case to the gods, begging for just a few more viewers and for at least one real comment whilst blaming spammers, fictitious viruses and search engines for cocking everything up.
“When a Blogger reaches this stage, it is not a pretty sight,” adds Dr Professor Sporran. “They will complain bitterly and start to pace the room while sighing loudly. I usually recommend that any relatives or friends leave the room at this stage.”
Blogger’s Blues makes a Blogger feel worthless and dejected and as a knock on affect it will also increase the amount of junk food that is required to nurse the Blogger through this deep depression.
“Another side affect is what we medical people usually call ‘Writers Block’,” Continued the doctor professor, “ but in this case ‘Blogger’s Block’ would be more appropriate. Once a Blogger has Blogger’s Block in can be a downhill slide. In rare cases people can recover, but in some very frightening cases it has been known for Bloggers to… I hate to say this, but um… abandon their blogs!”
So what should Bloggers do, to prevent them reaching the unthinkable decision of abandoning a poor defenceless blog?
“Bloggers Blues and Blogger’s Block can be broken but it is a long and steep road to recovery,” admits Dr Professor Sporran. “Sometimes it can involve leaving the computer and going outside, which can be quite terrifying at the best of times. Often Bloggers respond well to a prescription of alcohol or drugs or chocolate or a combination of all three. It really depends upon the Blogger and how bad the Blogger’s Blues are… but there is hope out there. If anyone is interested I am writing a blog about it.”