yarpnews

Who ate all the flies – the Amazingly Fat Spider-Man

In Crazy YarpNews on August 7, 2011 at 11:37 am

Who ate all the flies?

A ripple of shock echoed around Hollywood this week when fans got a sneak peek behind the scenes of the new movie The Amazing Spider-Man, which is due to be released in summer 2012.

A recently released still from the movie shows the new star Andrew Garfield apparently dressed in Spidey’s black ‘Venom’ suit – and from the photograph it seems the role may have gone to Garfield’s head… and arms, legs and stomach.

A friend, who would only say his name was ‘Jon’ claimed to know Garfield very well: “I wouldn’t say Garfield is fat, but the last time he got on a Ferris wheel, the two guys on top starved to death.”

Some argue that a bigger-boned superhero would provide a more realistic role model for modern society.

“These days everyone is fat,” Chunky Mcfudgebuckets movie critic and true Spider-Man fan. “Kids are fatter, parents are fatter, hell even dogs are fatter. It only makes sense that Spider-Man would get fat too.”

However the studio is claiming that the image is an optical illusion caused by Spider-Man’s evil foe: ‘Venom’. Venom is a diabolical parasitic alien that takes the form of a Black Spider-Man suit. When Spider-Man puts on the evil ‘Venom’ suit strange and dangerous things happen.

“There is a scene in the new film where Venom makes Spidey think he’s just a sad, pathetic middle aged fat man standing in a drab suburban house,” said the Director of the new film, the amusingly named Mr Marc WEBB. “It’s a very powerful scene. Truly terrifying to watch – it’s gross in so many ways. My stomach is actually churning just thinking about it.”

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