Recently, there has been a rise in a particular kind of house theft, where a group of immigrants take advantage of unsuspecting home owners by moving into their home while they pop out to the shops. Normally, the locks are changed before the unfortunate home owner returns to find that his house is no longer his. Things are bad enough for the victims in such cases, but spare a thought for poor Lesley Swipes who came home from a two week break in Benidorm to discover that her whole house had been nicked. The thieves not only took possession of Ms Swipes home, but they took its entire contents: bricks, doors, windows, roof and parking bay – everything, all the way down to the foundations.
“Imagine what I was thinking when I came home to find my house was not where I left it!” said the distraught single mother of three. “Where are me and the kids going to go now? I’ve got the keys but nowhere to stick em!”
A police spokesperson said “These criminals are really nasty little thieving bastards who will nick anything even if it is bolted down. We advise the public to never, in any circumstances, leave their possessions unattended and if possible set up a barricade around their home and arm themselves to the teeth. We are sure that if everyone takes these steps incidents such as this one will be in decline.”
If anyone has seen a four bed-roomed brick-built detached house with a green front door and red tiled roof they are asked to report its location directly to the police.
While Ms Swipes waits for the return of her house, she and the three kids took possession of a neighbour’s house while he was out at the Post Office.