yarpnews

Police launch the Adopt-a-Thief Scheme

In Crazy YarpNews on October 16, 2013 at 12:25 pm

Hug the policeFrustrated by the growing number of house break-ins combined with the problem of full to bursting prisons, Police in Middle Wallop in Thumpshire, UK, have this week launched a new initiate they call the Adopt-a-Thief Scheme.

The Adopt-a-Thief Scheme calls upon the kindness of good citizens to open their hearts and homes to wayward thieves. Residents will be encouraged to set up traps in their houses and if they are lucky enough to snare a burglar, they will be able to keep him.

“Anyone interested in taking part will be supplied with a free  trap,” said promoter of the Scheme, Senior Chief Constable, Nick Everybody, (19) “They should bait the trap with something nice and shiny like jewellery.”

And according to Senior Chief Constable Everybody, having caught your burglar, the adoption process is fairly quick and easy.

“All you have to do is drop in to the station, fill out an adoption application form and your burglar will be yours to take home. Once you get your new burglar home, spend some time getting to know it. Introduce it to the house and its inhabitants. Many new adoptees can be temperamental and can be set off by little things. However they usually respond well to children and pets.

“Thieves are able to understand a set routine quickly if it is presented to them regularly enough. So be sure to show your thief their new sleeping area, how to use the bathroom and where he is allowed to play on a daily basis. Because of their nature, they are liable to try and escape so we recommend keeping them on a leash at all times.“

Police Chief Constable Nick Everybody would be interested in hearing from anyone who is interested in joining the Adopt-a-Thief Scheme.

“I would like to encourage anyone to take part in the Scheme. It’s an excellent way to help society and those less fortunate than ourselves… and it’s the only way we are going to keep these thieving bastards off our streets.”

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