In a story reminiscent of the age-old fairy tale, three little Vietnamese pot bellied pigs have escaped from a farm in Southampton, England and are currently running amok within the city.
It would seem that a domestic dispute amongst the pigs owners lead to some swine leaving the pigs’ pen open and the three porkers took this as their cue to hit the road.
A spokesperson for the RSPCP said, “It’s a nightmare, as soon as they were free they split up. One little pig went to market, while another headed to town, while the third went off to look for some roast beef. They keep running into the roads, causing chaos with the traffic. We cannot have pigs in the city… at least not real ones.”
Hopefully, the pigs will be rounded up soon. Workers on the farm are preparing for their return, making each of them a new pen.
“We have spared no expense. We have used wood, brick and straw, materials they are already familiar with. They will be really impressed by their new accommodation. They should be as happy as pigs in shit in there. We just need a big bad wolf now to huff and puff and make them cry ‘wee, wee, wee’ all the way home.
The police are urging the public to get involved in the hunt and ask to be contacted should any pig be sighted. However they are advising people to be careful how they report the news to the emergency services operators.
“Obviously using the word ‘pig’ in front of a police officer won’t go down too well,” admitted Chief Constable Bobby Deskman, “In fact if you mentioned the word ’pig’ to our operators they are liable to put the phone down on you. So, I suggest that anyone spotting any of these fugitive bacon makers should refer to them as the ‘pork chops’ or the ‘rasher dashers’ or something similar that won’t offend the pigs… um… I mean the police.”