The scourge of modern society, that has for years terrorized small children and adults alike, has at last been taken off our streets.
Following a series of dawn raids, the residents of Smileyberg, Illinois will be able to rest easy in their beds tonight. Because last night, the town’s Mayor, Buster Parade declared that being a clown was illegal and following his declaration, every clown, jester and circus fool in the area was rounded up and arrested.
The raids appear to have been triggered after some clown reportedly gave Mr Parade ‘the bird’. Mr Parade was then heard to say: /span>
“They must be joking if those red nosed bastards think they can keep getting away with this.” /span>
Following Mr Parades orders the police raided circus tents, parties, play grounds, children’s hospitals, fast food establishments, bars, strip clubs, homeless shelters and congress – anywhere you would expect to find a clown.
For some, the raids couldn’t come too soon. There is growing evidence that clowns are not just leering freaks with abnormally big feet, but they are also responsible for a string of horrific murders as well as being a contributing factor to the nation’s increasing obesity.
With a cry of “Stop terrifying the shit out of everyone!” The police rounded up all clowns, all clown supporters and anyone who was wearing too much make-up. The raids were successful as the Police managed to round up over 50 clowns, however several did escape in a wonky car, with one making a get-away on a tiny bike.