yarpnews

Is there something dodgy about a moustache?

In Crazy YarpNews, Science/tech on May 18, 2014 at 1:01 pm

Moustaches – good, bad or ugly?

As everyone knows a moustache or mustache is a bit of hair that is usually found perched on the wearer’s top lip, growing just below their nose. Some people hate the scrubby piece of facial fuzz, claiming it is unhygienic and that the wearer must have something to hide. Other’s love their mouth brow so much that they enter competitions to see if they can win the ‘loveliest lip rug’ award. Whether you love them or hate them, have you ever wondered what a moustache says about its wearer?

Well the students at Tash City University in Hairy Lip, Virginia, were very interested in discovering who the snot mop supporters were and after ten years of research, they can finally publicise their findings… which are very interesting indeed.

It turns out that moustache wearers tend to come in two distinct categories: either you are a dodgy tash wearing criminal or a proud member of law enforcement with facial fuzz. The study found that the other few percent of moustache wearers were either gay men or little old ladies.

“It’s really odd,” admitted Professor Les Shavin, “in the majority of cases, a man who wears a moustache is either serving the law or is about to break it. It does make you wonder about the idea that a moustache acts as some kind of disguise, as it would work in both cases. I mean, either you are hiding from the law or you are hiding the fact that you are the law. It is a really fascinating way to look at whisker wearers.”

Online Graphing

GREEN = Criminals and ex-cons. RED = People involved in law enforcement. BLUE= Gay men. YELLOW = Little old ladies.

Now his study is complete, Professor Shavin is hoping to go on to study the correlation between hair on the top lip and that on the rest of the body.

“We are really looking forward to probing the depths to discover if men with mouth brows are generally hairier all over. You know, whether their tash is an indication that they also have hairy backs, noses, ears, bum cracks, that sort of thing. Our research will certainly be hair raising”

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  1. I Love it! The Geezer has one but I’m not sure he’s in any of those cats. How about one for fat old fishermen?
    Sandy
    http://www.sandysays1.wordpress.com
    PS we welcome the link

    Like

    • Hi Sandy… wow, fancy your Geezer having a tash (he’s probably a respectable law abiding gentleman and so would qualify under the ‘People involved in law enforcement and law abidment”? 🙂 I hope he got a chance to see the article inspired by your previous comment “10 ways to find out if you’re a wrinkly old American”? – That’s where the link is. (If he qualifies under any of those categories, he will be very old, so be gentle on him when you got out for walkies!)

      Like

  2. Haha … Yellow – little old ladies. Great post, my hubby has been growing his for 2months now! I hate it! But he does look funny.

    Like

    • Hi Laavventura! Thanks for your comments. Little old ladies made us laugh too 🙂 We are really pleased you like our post (maybe its not a good idea to show the pie chart to your hubby as he may not like the other category choices) 🙂

      Like

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