This morning, in a magnificent ceremony held behind Debbie’s Donner Kebab’s in Scunthorpe, Ford launched their new concept car, The Confusion.
Although the all-new Confusion doesn’t look radically different from other cars, it has significant improvements in terms of fuel economy, seat belt length and interior carpeting. The cleverly evolved design gives the Confusion a fresh, masculine appearance, and yet it retains its unmistakably classic character. The concept is to give drivers a sense of security while confusing the hell out of car jackers, cops, traffic wardens and tailgaters. The spacious interior is designed to comfortably seat four, but with a bit of a squeeze you could maybe fit in three extra old people plus a dog.
Sharing the same bold, inspired look and power ability as a twelve speed Raleigh Shopper, the new Confusion also comes with Fords all-wheel drive system which, thanks to a handily located steering wheel, allows you to turn the car to the right as well as left.
Other advanced features like adaptive controls, lighting, keys and a windshield give the Confusion sideways driving ability. This unique feature helps the driver to avoid tight parallel parking spots forever. Going forward has become the new drifting sideways and drifting sideways has become the new driving forward.
If you love staring out of the window at the houses you pass by and you’re interested in standing out from the crowd, buy a new Confusion. You’d be an idiot not to.
The Ford Confusion, a smart car driven by an idiot.