Nutcracker cops
A Government Inspector was left in shock yesterday after she paid an unscheduled visit to a small rural Police Station and caught two officers with their pants down, engaging in a spot of ballet.
Sleepy Birmingham is a small village in the middle of middle England. The Police Station of this diminutive seaside town is run by two desk cops – a duty sergeant and a regular PC. However, it would seem that instead of fighting crime Duty Sergeant Robin Eublind and PC Peter File spend most of their time re-enacting Swan Lake.
“Imagine my shock when I saw them,” said appalled Government Inspector, Phillippa Quotas. “It was utterly disgusting, their arabesque was passable but their pas de deux was all over the place… and I won’t even comment on their timing.”
The ballet duo has been suspended while an internal enquiry is carried out. Relatives claim that the long hours spent working behind a desk has made the two policemen nutcrackers.
Government Minister, Lewis Ingdaplot, who is in charge of Britain’s Police Force declined to comment, but a little later he was overheard through the walls shouting, “I don’t give a ruddy shit if they have great legs. It’s a bloody PR disaster, the British public don’t want to see the pound wasted on a police force that does nothing but ponce around in tights.”
yarpnews 