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Posts Tagged ‘gimp’

Vice President in mix up with President of Vice

In Crazy YarpNews, World on April 6, 2014 at 12:33 pm

 

Vice Captain or Captain of Vice?

Vice Captain or Captain of Vice?

The courier service PH Hell, have today admitted that they have may have mistakenly delivered a parcel to Joe Biden, Vice President, The White House, West Wing instead of its intended recipient Mr Blow Bigguns, President of Vice, The White Ho House, West Wind.

The embarrassing mix up came to light when King of porn, Mr Bigguns realized that he and his lovely ‘ho’s’ had not received their regular monthly order for a mixed assortment of rubber bondage wear, a box of adjustable nipple clamps, a gimp mask and a range of whips. Concerned about his lack of delivery Mr Bigguns contacted the courier service only to be told that the parcel had already been delivered to the White House.

“It seems the delivery driver is a little dyslexic, so it’s easy to see how the confusion came about,” laughed Mr Bigguns.

In his defense, delivery driver Don Stopping said, “It’s not easy to read addresses at the best of times, but the handwriting on this particular parcel was very shaky and hard to read. Also, the address was written in ink and it had rained so all the words were blurry. It’s not my fault I couldn’t read it properly. Besides, I have delivered hundreds of similar boxes there in the past, so I thought this one was meant to go there too – how was I to know it was meant for a porn king?”

Strangely enough, despite PH Hell admitting their error a White House spokesperson denies that the White House or anyone in Joe Biden’s office has received any parcels, let alone any full of kinky gear intended for a porn king.

Whatever the truth is we may never know, but if it didn’t reach The White Ho House and it didn’t get delivered to The White House, what did happen to Mr Bigguns’ missing parcel?

If you have any information regarding the whereabouts of Mr Bigguns box of sex toys, please contact the White House and let them know.

The rubber gimp boot hat is back!

In Crazy YarpNews, Science/tech on March 9, 2014 at 11:08 am

The stylish rubber gimp boot hat

Fans of the rubber gimp boot hat will be pleased to hear that it is making a come back.

Originally popular in the 1950s, the squeaky, smelly headgear soon fell out of favour, with many people preferring to wear a nice bobble hat to keep their heads warm. However, the recent freak weather conditions, which dumped snow all over the northern hemisphere has seen people reaching for the fashion favourite once again.

Practical and stylish, the rubber gimp boot hat not only keeps your head dry but it will also come in handy should you slip in the snow because the clever in-built ‘tread’ pattern located at the top of the hat acts as a buffer that is designed to protect your head.

One fan, Ivor Fetish, explained why he likes wearing rubber gimp boot hats. He said: “Ish shust luff itch, itches shuu shekshy.” Unfortunately Mr Fetish was wearing his boot hat at the time.

Rubber gimp boot hats come in a range of sizes and designs. If you are lucky, you will be able to participate in the bargain of the century as most shops are currently selling two rubber gimp hats for the price of one.

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