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Posts Tagged ‘head’

Pee Toylet is whizz idea

In Crazy YarpNews on April 3, 2014 at 4:58 pm

Sega’s new Toylet, a game to be pissed on

If you spend too long on toilet breaks you may be accused of flushing your life down the pan, but soon, thanks to Sega’s new Toylet, male commuters in Japan will be able to play in the bathroom all day long.

Fortunately, Sega are not taking the piss, their new dimension in gaming includes a urinal based pressure sensor which allows users to control four different games.

The first is ‘Manneken Pis’ in which the amount of urine you just peed out is calculated.

Next is ‘Graffiti Eraser’ which lets you use your hose to pee-blast graffiti off of a wall. A dirty game but if you have a lot of urine you could clean up.

Probably not a game for gay Toylet players, ‘The North Wind and Her’ turns your piss into wind which can be used to blow off a woman’s dress.

Finally, ‘Milk from Nose’ allows you to go head to head with the guy who used the urinal before you. In this sumo-style game the characters blow milk from their noses and try to push each other out of the sumo ring. The guy who has the strongest pressure wins.

The urinals are still in development, but if you ‘head’ to Japan you may get a chance to pee and play sometime in the near future. In the meantime the rest of the world will have to make do with the old fashioned bathroom games that our grandparents used to play, favorites like‘Chasing a cigarette butt down the urinal’ and ‘Seeing how high you can pee up a wall.’

Secrets under the Bearskin – the truth about the Queen’s Guard

In Crazy YarpNews, World on March 24, 2014 at 12:38 pm

Four Queen’s Guards – can you spot the one going to the toilet?

In his new book ‘Under the Bearskin – the naked truth about the Queen’s Guard’, Historian Dayan Yearspass reveals some shocking secrets behind the ancient ceremony of Changing the Guard at Buckingham Palace.

The responsibility of guarding the Sovereign by the Household Troops (as they were known at the time) dates back to the time of Henry VII (1485-1509). Surprisingly, during Henry’s reign Changing of the Guard was actually called the Changing of the Gourd, a title referring to the large marrows or gourds that the watchmen originally wore as protection on their heads. Of course the gourds being vegetables, they would only last a few days before they would begin to rot and so needed changing.

At the time having a rotting vegetable on your head was a great test for you manliness and so the guards would remain as still as possible despite being covered in stinking marrow and flies. The soldiers therefore gained a reputation for being fantastic at standing still and ignoring annoying pests – hence their descendents can easily ignore a coach load of tourists.

Over the years the gourd was replaced by the now traditional bearskin cap. Nowadays the standard bearskin of the British Foot Guards is 18 inches tall, weighs one and a half pounds and is made from the fur of a defenseless Canadian black bear.

The Queen’s Guard customarily wear a full-dress uniform consisting of a red tunic, black bearskins cap and black military trousers. The trousers or pants of the modern guards still hide one secret, one which allows them to remain as still as possible during their many hours standing on guard. The army have equipped each guardsman with a device they call a Disposable, Individually-wrapped, Army Personnel Excretion Receptacle or D.I.A.P.E.R.

Dayan Yearspass has created a great book, full of interesting tit bits and strange facts. Open the pages and the imagery is so evocative that you can almost catch the smell of the rotting gourds and disposable, individually-wrapped, army personnel excretion receptacles.

The rubber gimp boot hat is back!

In Crazy YarpNews, Science/tech on March 9, 2014 at 11:08 am

The stylish rubber gimp boot hat

Fans of the rubber gimp boot hat will be pleased to hear that it is making a come back.

Originally popular in the 1950s, the squeaky, smelly headgear soon fell out of favour, with many people preferring to wear a nice bobble hat to keep their heads warm. However, the recent freak weather conditions, which dumped snow all over the northern hemisphere has seen people reaching for the fashion favourite once again.

Practical and stylish, the rubber gimp boot hat not only keeps your head dry but it will also come in handy should you slip in the snow because the clever in-built ‘tread’ pattern located at the top of the hat acts as a buffer that is designed to protect your head.

One fan, Ivor Fetish, explained why he likes wearing rubber gimp boot hats. He said: “Ish shust luff itch, itches shuu shekshy.” Unfortunately Mr Fetish was wearing his boot hat at the time.

Rubber gimp boot hats come in a range of sizes and designs. If you are lucky, you will be able to participate in the bargain of the century as most shops are currently selling two rubber gimp hats for the price of one.

Revolutionary new slimming aid shrinks your head

In Crazy YarpNews, Science/tech on February 21, 2014 at 5:12 pm

Eucaneatitol could prove popular with fat heads

Scientists have this week released the first results of clinical trials to test a new weight loss formula called ‘Eucaneatitol’. Eucaneatitol is revolutionary in that it is said to completely burn fat within a few days, making you instantly slimmer without you having to lift a finger.

However the potion, made from an intricate blend of rare cactus extract, royal jelly, mung beans, soy milk and hemorrhoid ointment doesn’t come without controversy. There are a few side effects, such as heart palpitations, breathing problems and headaches, but the main drawback is that so far it seems to only work on people’s heads.

“Well, it’s a start” shrugged Professor of Nutrition Lou Swaite from Lick Fork University. “Hopefully, long term use will see the effect work its way down the body.”

Despite this minor setback Professor Swaite and his colleagues are looking forward to launching Eucaneatitol on the market.

“I know having a pea sized head isn’t for everyone,” confessed Professor Swaite. “But on the plus side it means your mouth is a lot smaller, so you can’t eat that much and we think that will prove popular to some people. Also, tests have proven that it can reduce cholesterol, which everyone knows is a killer. So if all these factors don’t lead to Eucaneatitol being used as a slimming aid, we are sure that we can sell it to people with fat heads.”

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