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Posts Tagged ‘hole’

Pavement artist’s sick joke

In Crazy YarpNews, World on February 1, 2014 at 9:25 pm
  

The real hole Mr Isithere dug

Pavement art by Mr Bob Isithere

After many years of drawing some of the best optical illusions seen by shoppers throughout Barnsley and similar naff sounding cities, Mr Bob Isithere confessed “No one gave me a penny for my work and I’d had enough. I thought sod em, and I began to form a plan.

“I snuck out in the middle of the night and instead of drawing a realistic looking hole, I dug a real hole. It took me a few hours and was really big. I was just admiring my work when some cocky kids came by. They had seen my pavement art before and they started to take the piss. They were hassling me about how shit my drawing was, saying how unrealistic it was…and then they just disappeared over the edge,” mumbled the murderer.

For the death of those two innocent yobs, Mr Isithere was sentenced to three weeks hard prison. Since his sentencing Mr Isithere has tried unsuccessfully to draw an escape route.

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The best way to dig a hole

In Crazy YarpNews on July 16, 2013 at 12:02 pm

 

Keep fit by digging a hole

Forget the gym or state-of-the-art gym equipment, the latest way to keep slim and trim is to dig a hole.

 

Extremely popular with Japanese business women, digging a hole marks a movement away from high-tech fitness dreams towards a more basic, greener approach to getting in shape.

“The high-tech stuff was great and everybody loves gadgets, but what ends up happening is all that flashy equipment gets shoved into a corner and just becomes a great place to hang your clothes,” says Jock Strap spokesman for the South West Exercise and Athletic Team (SWEAT).

Whether you choose a spade or a shovel, digging a hole will give you an intense whole body workout. Digging utilizes your arms, legs and the entire core region of your body in a major way. If done with the right intensity, it can be both aerobic and anaerobic at the same time.

Digging a hole is simple – there are three basic steps that you need to follow:

1. Get stuck in – Start by lifting small shovelfuls and piling them in a heap on the side. You need to build up a rhythm.

2. Swear and make manly grunting noises so that anyone who happens to see you will know how hard you are working.

3. Stand back and admire your hole. Lean against your shovel and marvel at your ability to make great big holes in the ground.

Once complete, your hole is ready to be filled in again. Some prefer to get someone else to do that (after all you’re not a common ground worker are you), while others prefer to use the hole as a useful place to bury anything nasty in – including any outstanding paperwork, unpaid bills and errant husbands.

So, women of the world, what are you waiting for, dig a hole! (Shovel comes with optional calorie counter).

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