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Posts Tagged ‘kardashian’

Kim and penis-pillow shocker

In Crazy YarpNews, Naughty Yarpnews on June 2, 2014 at 12:13 pm
Kim Pillow

Kim Pillow

Shocking news just in: Everyone’s favourite curvy girl, Mrs Kim Kardashian-West has not launched a new range of home furnishings based on her striking silhouette.

There was no launch party at LA’s famous Opera nightclub and among those who did not attend were illustrious A-listers such as Cameron Diaz, Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert Downey Jr.  Paris Hilton was also not invited.

A spokesperson for the ‘Kim-me Hug-me’ pillow was not available for comment, but a non-spokesperson did admit that the similarity between the two was ‘terrifying’. While another said “I want to burn my eyes out.”

Controversy is rife with many people turning to social media to say, ‘WTF! I am so confused!’  What is clear is that whether the famous for being famous, Kardashian clan have cashed in on the unbelievable figure of their most well-known off-spring, or not, Kim does look like a penis-shaped pillow.

One observer said “It’s undeniable that Kim looks like a penis-shaped pillow. But I ask you which came first, Kim or the penis thing? It has to be coincidental, that or someone’s guilty of over stuffing.”

Another cock and ball story brought to you by Yarpnews.

 

Dissolving Kardashians in hairdressing horror

In Crazy YarpNews on February 16, 2011 at 11:32 am

What is left of the Kardashians - Short and Curlies

Kim, Khloé and the other Kardashian sister tragically melted away today following a freak accident at the Hollywood hairdressing salon “Short and Curlies”.

The girls apparently arrived earlier this morning, having booked to experience the very latest in acid treatments. According to Handon Hip (45) owner of “Short and Curlies”, the treatment was meant to give the reality TV stars smooth, soft and shiny hair, but it seems the acid in the treatment reacted with the chemicals in their perfume.

“Everything was fine,” explained Handon Hip.  “They had all had their acid treatments applied to their heads and were just settling in for some A-lister gossip, when one of them noticed that their heads had started to dissolve.”

“Of course they rushed over to the sinks and our assistant started to wash the treatment from their heads. Unfortunately, it was too little too late. Poor girl carried on though, by the time she had reached Kourtney her arms had melted all the way up to her elbow.

“The police did suspect my assistant for a bit, but they let her go when they saw that she was armless.”

Short and Curlies are obviously devastated by the tragedy that was the Kardashian sisters. As a sign of respect, the hairdressing emporium plans to leave the girls bodies where they currently stand.

“We think it will be a fitting memorial,” gushed Mr Hip. “The girls really loved getting their hair done and we believe their big butts will make extremely comfortable headrests.”

Kim Kardashian’s fat arse letter

In Crazy YarpNews on January 7, 2011 at 3:31 pm
 

Kim Kardashian's allegedly sexy arse

Dear Editor

I have heard many people say that Kim Kardashian is sexy because she has got a big, fat arse. Bearing this in mind I can say with absolute confidence that my wife must be at least twice as sexy.

Yours

Billy Shenko

 

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