Posts Tagged ‘man’

Mobile music for the masses

In Crazy YarpNews on July 15, 2016 at 8:23 pm

Old boys Si Desaddle and Lee Ninonkey aka Fat Boy Fat are back on tour!

Fans of eighties pop duo Si Desaddle and Lee Ninonkey aka Fat Boy Fat will be delighted to hear that the old boys are back on tour!

Armed with nothing more than a bicycle pump and a gallon of saddle salve, to help soothe any sores, the guys have reformed in order to bring their music to the masses. They plan to tour America first and then head to the UK and the rest of Europe after, weather permitting.

“For too long people have been listening to synthesised drivel that hardly passes for real music,” stated Fat Boy Fat. “Our extensive tour will bring real music in its pure, raw form right to their doorsteps. We have many tour dates planned, so expect to see us in your neighbourhood soon!”

“We are both excited about our upcoming tour,” added Fat Boy’s pedal man and side kick Si Desaddle. “Personally I am very excited, but Fat Boy Fat is really excited – you will be able to see for yourself when you come to one of our shows.”

Throughout their tour the guys will be performing all of their classic hits including age-old favourites such as:

My lumps, my lovely lardy lumps
Blubber Lubber
Stuff my pie hole
Thunder, thunder, thunder thighs
Has anyone seen my spare tyre?
Lonely sausage

When asked about his decision to perform naked throughout the tour, Fat Boy Fat responded:

“If you got it flaunt it baby!”

Well said, Fat Boy Fat!

Fat man explodes

In Crazy YarpNews on March 11, 2011 at 1:29 pm

He was heard to say 'Just one more wafer-thin mint oreo blizzard' and then he exploded

This story is so tragic it might make you cry. Yarpnews is the first to bring you the unfortunate news that Phil Megut has exploded… to death.

Young Phil Megut first hit the headlines last week after he was discovered living alone on a very deserted desert island by a small group of Filipino fishermen. Mr Megut was the only survivor after his ship the SS Fat Guy was wrecked off the coast of India in 2009.

Following his dramatic rescue, Mr Megut returned to the Unites States and celebrated his home coming with a piece of pie.

He then allegedly, carried on celebrating in some of America’s top restaurants, including McDonalds, Wendys, Burger King, Subways, KFC, Krispy Kreme and Diary Queen.

Unfortunately, it seems that Mr Megut didn’t know his own limits and he kept on celebrating until he could celebrate no more.

Finally, last night, as Mr Megut was being escorted from Diary Queen he was heard to mutter, “Just one more wafer-thin mint Oreo blizzard”, and a few seconds later he exploded.

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