Posts Tagged ‘melt’

Hot man melts

In Crazy YarpNews on July 24, 2016 at 12:56 pm


Man makes his own people puddle

It’s hot, hot, hot outside, hot enough to fry an egg… or melt a person.

And that’s just what happened this morning when California native Hugo Sticky (28) popped out for a breakfast burrito.

“I just finished eating a hot burrito, when I had a feeling something was wrong,” explained Mr Sticky “I felt really strange, kind of down and deflated. I said to a lady who was passing by ‘Man my ass is really hot,’ and she agreed.

“At first I thought I was just shrinking as I seemed to be getting shorter. But I was sweating like crazy and I said to the burrito guy, ‘Man it’s so hot out here even the chickens are laying hard boiled eggs. I mean I feel like I am melting’ and he laughed and said ‘You are’ and when I looked down I saw that he was right and there was nothing left of me but this people puddle.”

“It was really freaky,” added the burrito guy. “He was like, ‘I am so hot man, I’m melting.’ And I was like ‘yeah man, you are!“

Doctors are today warning of the dangers of melting on hot, hot, hot days.

“There were two main reasons why Mr Sticky melted,” explained eminent scientist and DJ, Dr Indahouse. “The first of course, is the outside temperature. I mean it’s hotter than the devil’s dick out there. I recommend to all my patients that they stay indoors and try not to melt. The other thing I recommend is that they never, ever eat a burrito full of extra hot chili peppers. And if they do, never to eat a burrito full of Trinidad Scorpion Butch T peppers because they are extremely hot. I would hate to think what would happen to someone who say ate a breakfast burrito full of Trinidad Scorpion Butch T peppers on a very hot day like today… they would probably melt.”

Dissolving Kardashians in hairdressing horror

In Crazy YarpNews on February 16, 2011 at 11:32 am

What is left of the Kardashians - Short and Curlies

Kim, Khloé and the other Kardashian sister tragically melted away today following a freak accident at the Hollywood hairdressing salon “Short and Curlies”.

The girls apparently arrived earlier this morning, having booked to experience the very latest in acid treatments. According to Handon Hip (45) owner of “Short and Curlies”, the treatment was meant to give the reality TV stars smooth, soft and shiny hair, but it seems the acid in the treatment reacted with the chemicals in their perfume.

“Everything was fine,” explained Handon Hip.  “They had all had their acid treatments applied to their heads and were just settling in for some A-lister gossip, when one of them noticed that their heads had started to dissolve.”

“Of course they rushed over to the sinks and our assistant started to wash the treatment from their heads. Unfortunately, it was too little too late. Poor girl carried on though, by the time she had reached Kourtney her arms had melted all the way up to her elbow.

“The police did suspect my assistant for a bit, but they let her go when they saw that she was armless.”

Short and Curlies are obviously devastated by the tragedy that was the Kardashian sisters. As a sign of respect, the hairdressing emporium plans to leave the girls bodies where they currently stand.

“We think it will be a fitting memorial,” gushed Mr Hip. “The girls really loved getting their hair done and we believe their big butts will make extremely comfortable headrests.”

%d bloggers like this: