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Posts Tagged ‘missing’

Call the cops, my snowman is missing!

In Crazy YarpNews, Science/tech, World on February 13, 2014 at 3:04 pm
Where's my snowman gone?

Where’s my snowman gone?

It is terrible, but it’s true. Some thieving bastard has stolen a snowman right from outside its owner’s house. The distraught owner who wishes to remain anonymous, so we will call her Miss Nelly Shenko was so upset by the theft that she called the emergency services.

Unfortunately, even though the snowman had pound coins for his eyes and teaspoons for arms, the police remained uninterested in the theft.

“I ain’t being funny,” said Miss Shenko “I just thought that with it being icy out there and there not being anybody about, he’d be safe. It ain’t a nice road, but at the end of the day you don’t expect someone to nick your snowman.”

This snowman theft is the latest in a long line of random thefts that the police have had no interest in. So far a puddle that was recently stolen from the same area has not been recovered nor has a hole in a donut that went missing from Barry’s Burger Bar on the High Street at around 2.15pm last Wednesday.

Police have not warned the public to remain vigilant and have not asked for any witnesses to come forward. Typical!

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Have you seen the invisible man?

In Crazy YarpNews, Entertainment, Science/tech on January 5, 2014 at 2:36 pm

Photo of the Invisble Man and friend taken early last year

It would appear that the real Invisible Man has disappeared.

The popular actor and performer, best known for his roles as “See-thru Steve” in the comedy Dude Where’s my Body and “Where’s He Gone Wayne” in the film The Vanishing, was last heard of before Christmas. Worried neighbors called the cops after realizing that they had last seen the celebrity (or at least signs that his mail was being collected) just before Christmas Eve.

The police have conducted a thorough search of the Invisible Man’s property, but there has been no sign of him. A spokesman for the police said “It is very difficult to look for someone you cannot see. He could be lying injured somewhere and we wouldn’t know unless we literally tripped over him.”

“There has been no sign of the Man for a few weeks now and quite frankly we are getting worried. We would urge the public to keep an eye out for this guy. If you see, feel or smell anything suspicious please report it.”

Friends and neighbors of the Invisible Man are currently trying to organize a search party.

“We welcome any help with the hunt,” said nosey neighbor Lizzy Busybodi. “We are arming ourselves with bags of flour and powdered paint so that we can chuck it anywhere he might be.”

Where the invisible man is and what he has been up to remains a mystery, hopefully all will be transparent upon his return.

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