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Posts Tagged ‘pc’

Two cops take their love for ballet tutu far

In Crazy YarpNews on April 18, 2014 at 12:38 pm

Nutcracker cops

A Government Inspector was left in shock yesterday after she paid an unscheduled visit to a small rural Police Station and caught two officers with their pants down, engaging in a spot of ballet.

Sleepy Birmingham is a small village in the middle of middle England. The Police Station of this diminutive seaside town is run by two desk cops – a duty sergeant and a regular PC. However, it would seem that instead of fighting crime Duty Sergeant Robin Eublind and PC Peter File spend most of their time re-enacting Swan Lake.

“Imagine my shock when I saw them,” said appalled Government Inspector, Phillippa Quotas. “It was utterly disgusting, their arabesque was passable but their pas de deux was all over the place… and I won’t even comment on their timing.”

The ballet duo has been suspended while an internal enquiry is carried out. Relatives claim that the long hours spent working behind a desk has made the two policemen nutcrackers.

Government Minister, Lewis Ingdaplot, who is in charge of Britain’s Police Force declined to comment, but a little later he was overheard through the walls shouting, “I don’t give a ruddy shit if they have great legs. It’s a bloody PR disaster, the British public don’t want to see the pound wasted on a police force that does nothing but ponce around in tights.”

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Parents against computing take action

In Crazy YarpNews on May 15, 2011 at 5:06 pm

Mr Zuckerburg takes charge

Furious fathers all over the United States having been dragging their children away from their computers in a futile attempt to break their kid’s web habit.

The idea came after Lu Tan, a 39 year old Chinese man from Hechi in Southern China was seen dragging his naked son out of a cyber café earlier this month.

At the time the frustrated father stated: “’I chucked the computer in the bin because he spent all his time in his room doing no work – but then when I came home from work I found he had gone to the internet cafe.”

When the news reached American shores the national alliance Fathers Against Children Exploding their Brains Over Obsessive Komputing (FACEBOOK) took Lu Tan’s example as a message for them to take action.

“I’ve been dragging kids out of cyber cafes all week,” said father of three Ed Zuckerburg (49).  “It gives you a real sense of satisfaction. I just hang around the cafes and drag em out. Some of the kids aren’t even mine.”

“If you want, I can drag your kids outside too,” said the generous father. “Parents can find my email details on my website. You will receive an instant reply. I am a web consultant so I am always online.”

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