The animal kingdom is laughing at us behind our backs

A laughing labrador

Cat and dog owners may already suspect it, but after years of exhaustive research, scientists can categorically prove that the animal kingdom is laughing at us behind our backs.

Suspicions began to rise in the 1880’s when Lord Frederick Von Freely-Robsland III thought he heard a fox giggle. No one at the time believed Lord Von Freely-Robsland III, but the upper crust don’t take kindly to being laughed at and this apparent incident spawned the very first fox hunt.

A little chortling cat

Years later and Professor Robin Watcher from UCLA was doing some tests on small rabbits when he heard one of them snigger.

“I was having a difficult time in the lab,” explained Professor Watcher. “I was all fingers and thumbs that day and I managed to drop all my notes on the floor. When I bent over to pick them up I split my pants and that’s when I distinctly heard a rabbit snigger.

“This of course set my mind racing and set me off one a whole new course of research.”

A sniggering seal

Professor Watcher then went on to carefully study as many animals as he possibly could.

“What I discovered was absolutely amazing. Not only do wild animals laugh at us, but it seems that domestic pets have a highly sophisticated sense of humor. If you have never seen your dog or cat laugh then either you are not looking closely enough, or they are using their poker skills on you – they have excellent poker faces you know.

“I believe that domestic animals are extremely fun loving. They find old people particularly funny and tend to gravitate towards them. They really love old people, but they like the rest of us too.

And an hysterical Polar Bear

“They are constantly playing jokes on us. One joke they really like to play is to pretend they can see or hear something that their owners can’t. They love to see the scared and confused look on our faces – that really cracks them up.”

Unfortunately for Professor Watcher, the scientific journal The Lancet has refused to publish his findings.

“It is very frustrating,” admitted Professor Watcher. “It seems that they don’t want to believe me. They would rather believe in UFOs although there is no scrap of proof.  I have all these photos and documented evidence but confront them with laughing animals and they don’t want to know.”

Beer discovered at the North Pole

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Polar Bear on Polar Beer

Pity the poor Polar Bear. Life in the Arctic Circle isn’t quite as good as it’s cracked up to be. It’s cold and windy and there isn’t much night life. Sure there is a lot of snow and plenty of opportunities to make a snowman, but once you’ve made one you’ve made them all. So when the days are long and the nights are short, what do you do to while away the hours?

Last year, the world learned that a crate of whisky had been found hidden under the explorer Shackleton’s hut in Antarctica. News of the find eventually reached the North Pole and this apparently gave the Polar Bears an idea. With the help of a lost Venezuelan backpacker, the bears created their very own brewery.   

A boozed up bear

 

Conveniently located under the polar ice cap, the brewery’s Polar Beer has been a huge hit. So much so that it seems that the bears don’t want to do anything else other than party.

“This used to be quite a posh area, but now the place is littered with boozed up bears,” complained a sloshed seal. “I think it’s disgusting. They do nothing all day but get drunk. I wouldn’t care so much but when they’re drunk they never leave a tip… Do you want ice with that?” 

A sloshed seal