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Posts Tagged ‘seal’

Seal goes a little bit crazy

In Animals, Crazy YarpNews, Entertainment on March 20, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Seal terrifies the shit out of some Asian tourists

Seal, the pop star husband of supermodel Heidi Klum is in trouble this week for frightening the shit out of a group of Asian tourists.

Some blame Heidi Klum who was in the park trying to fend off a bunch of paparazzi who were trying to photograph her and her children. It would appear that Seal thought the tourists were reporters out to snap his babies and so he went a bit berserk.

The Asian tourists knew what to do and instinctively began clubbing Seal around the head with anything they could get their hands on. Ironically it was a member of the paparazzi who saved Seal by pointing out to the tourists that they were in fact clubbing international singing star Seal and not a defenseless baby marine animal.

Eventually everything was cleared up and the tourists left the park happy, loaded with a couple of signed DVDs and a voucher for a fish supper for four at the Fish Shack.

As Seal and Heidi were leaving the park, the pop star was overheard to say:

“But, we are never going to survive unless we get a little bit crazy.”

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The animal kingdom is laughing at us behind our backs

In Animals, Crazy YarpNews on March 19, 2011 at 1:53 pm

A laughing labrador

Cat and dog owners may already suspect it, but after years of exhaustive research, scientists can categorically prove that the animal kingdom is laughing at us behind our backs.

Suspicions began to rise in the 1880’s when Lord Frederick Von Freely-Robsland III thought he heard a fox giggle. No one at the time believed Lord Von Freely-Robsland III, but the upper crust don’t take kindly to being laughed at and this apparent incident spawned the very first fox hunt.

A little chortling cat

Years later and Professor Robin Watcher from UCLA was doing some tests on small rabbits when he heard one of them snigger.

“I was having a difficult time in the lab,” explained Professor Watcher. “I was all fingers and thumbs that day and I managed to drop all my notes on the floor. When I bent over to pick them up I split my pants and that’s when I distinctly heard a rabbit snigger.

“This of course set my mind racing and set me off one a whole new course of research.”

A sniggering seal

Professor Watcher then went on to carefully study as many animals as he possibly could.

“What I discovered was absolutely amazing. Not only do wild animals laugh at us, but it seems that domestic pets have a highly sophisticated sense of humor. If you have never seen your dog or cat laugh then either you are not looking closely enough, or they are using their poker skills on you – they have excellent poker faces you know.

“I believe that domestic animals are extremely fun loving. They find old people particularly funny and tend to gravitate towards them. They really love old people, but they like the rest of us too.

And an hysterical Polar Bear

“They are constantly playing jokes on us. One joke they really like to play is to pretend they can see or hear something that their owners can’t. They love to see the scared and confused look on our faces – that really cracks them up.”

Unfortunately for Professor Watcher, the scientific journal The Lancet has refused to publish his findings.

“It is very frustrating,” admitted Professor Watcher. “It seems that they don’t want to believe me. They would rather believe in UFOs although there is no scrap of proof.  I have all these photos and documented evidence but confront them with laughing animals and they don’t want to know.”

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