yarpnews

Posts Tagged ‘sex’

Ear-gasm – the orgasm for your ear

In Crazy YarpNews, Science/tech on May 5, 2014 at 1:07 pm

Picking you ear may not be the most romantic of moves, but for many Vietnamese a good bit of probing in the ear department is a popular pastime that can elicit moans of pure pleasure. Why? Because the Vietnamese know an age-old secret – your ear has a G-spot and if it’s poked and tickled in just the right way… well let’s just say ‘hang on to your socks.’

Now, sticking things in your ear is never recommended, one slip and you could end up damaging something important like your ear drum, leaving you moaning in pain rather than ecstasy. However, for the highly trained girls and boys of the Hoc Tocs (the barber-like shops) in Vietnam, ear picking is an art. So much so that a good ear picker will gather quite a following.

Popular ear pickers will have men and women lining up around the block to experience their unorthodox probing. Using delicate metal scoops and tiny tweezers, the ear pickers will carefully clean inside their customer’s ears. As well as removing ear wax, their probing tickles a delicate spot near the ear drum. For some people it feels like a tickle, but for others it is akin to great sex. It is not unknown for people to experience what can only be described as ‘ear-gasms’. That may explain why some Vietnamese men don’t tell their wives when they pop out for some ear picking.

So, the next time you want to playfully lick your finger and stick it in your friend’s ear, just think, you may be giving him more than a wet willy!

Vice President in mix up with President of Vice

In Crazy YarpNews, World on April 6, 2014 at 12:33 pm

 

Vice Captain or Captain of Vice?

Vice Captain or Captain of Vice?

The courier service PH Hell, have today admitted that they have may have mistakenly delivered a parcel to Joe Biden, Vice President, The White House, West Wing instead of its intended recipient Mr Blow Bigguns, President of Vice, The White Ho House, West Wind.

The embarrassing mix up came to light when King of porn, Mr Bigguns realized that he and his lovely ‘ho’s’ had not received their regular monthly order for a mixed assortment of rubber bondage wear, a box of adjustable nipple clamps, a gimp mask and a range of whips. Concerned about his lack of delivery Mr Bigguns contacted the courier service only to be told that the parcel had already been delivered to the White House.

“It seems the delivery driver is a little dyslexic, so it’s easy to see how the confusion came about,” laughed Mr Bigguns.

In his defense, delivery driver Don Stopping said, “It’s not easy to read addresses at the best of times, but the handwriting on this particular parcel was very shaky and hard to read. Also, the address was written in ink and it had rained so all the words were blurry. It’s not my fault I couldn’t read it properly. Besides, I have delivered hundreds of similar boxes there in the past, so I thought this one was meant to go there too – how was I to know it was meant for a porn king?”

Strangely enough, despite PH Hell admitting their error a White House spokesperson denies that the White House or anyone in Joe Biden’s office has received any parcels, let alone any full of kinky gear intended for a porn king.

Whatever the truth is we may never know, but if it didn’t reach The White Ho House and it didn’t get delivered to The White House, what did happen to Mr Bigguns’ missing parcel?

If you have any information regarding the whereabouts of Mr Bigguns box of sex toys, please contact the White House and let them know.

Dirty monk’s dirty habit gets him in to trouble

In Crazy YarpNews on January 23, 2011 at 1:28 pm

In this latest strange but true story, a bad Buddhist monk had a stroke after he was caught having sex with a temple dog behind Sam Toei Temple in Pitsanuloke, Thailand.

Villagers were drawn to the scene by the howls of protest from the dog, which the monk had tied to a tree. After seeing the monk with the poor pooch the villagers called the police.

All the excitement was obviously too much for the 65-year-old monk to take because by the time officers arrived on the scene he was lying unconscious next to the animal. A bottle of dishwashing liquid was found next to him, presumably for use as a makeshift lubricant.

Rescuers rushed the monk to hospital, where he remains in a coma. Doctors said he had suffered a stroke and are not sure if he will survive. The monk was identified as Phoopan Chitupanarso. The Abbot of Wat Sam Toei, said Phoopan had been at the temple for only a few days.

Temple authorities were allegedly already preparing to ask him to leave because he had refused to provide references from his former temple and because he smelt like wet dog.

Police did not say what Phoopan would be charged with if he regains consciousness but there have been sniffs of a rumor about unpawful entry.

New Slag Krema makes you attractive to the opposite sex

In Crazy YarpNews on December 28, 2010 at 1:10 pm

Slag Krema, the latest craze to hit Hollywood

Promoted as being irresistible to both men and women, new Slag Krema is the latest ‘must have’ to hit the celebrity circuits. Made from a mixture of powdered aphrodisiacs including truffles, oysters, dark chocolate, ginko biloba and deer penis, the new krema reportedly makes you instantly attractive to the opposite sex. Already listed amongst its converts are: Lindsay Lohan, Courtney Love, Charlie Sheen and David Arquette (who reportedly rubbed it all over a little lady dwarf!)

Renowned for its creamy texture and dreamy results, Slag Krema is THE krema to have in Hollywood.

Dab a bit behind your ears or go the whole hog and slap Slag all over your bits, the effect is the same. Slag Krema is guaranteed to leave your skin smooth with a hint of vanilin, along with musky undertones.

There are two versions available at most stores, Slag Krema original (as seen) and Slag Krema deluxe, which comes with extra pubic hairs.

OFFER

Send $25 to Yarpnews today and in return we will send you your very own free trail sample (as seen) of Slag Krema. This product may not be suitable for any skin types.

%d bloggers like this: