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Posts Tagged ‘strange but true’

Ear-gasm – the orgasm for your ear

In Crazy YarpNews, Science/tech on May 5, 2014 at 1:07 pm

Picking you ear may not be the most romantic of moves, but for many Vietnamese a good bit of probing in the ear department is a popular pastime that can elicit moans of pure pleasure. Why? Because the Vietnamese know an age-old secret – your ear has a G-spot and if it’s poked and tickled in just the right way… well let’s just say ‘hang on to your socks.’

Now, sticking things in your ear is never recommended, one slip and you could end up damaging something important like your ear drum, leaving you moaning in pain rather than ecstasy. However, for the highly trained girls and boys of the Hoc Tocs (the barber-like shops) in Vietnam, ear picking is an art. So much so that a good ear picker will gather quite a following.

Popular ear pickers will have men and women lining up around the block to experience their unorthodox probing. Using delicate metal scoops and tiny tweezers, the ear pickers will carefully clean inside their customer’s ears. As well as removing ear wax, their probing tickles a delicate spot near the ear drum. For some people it feels like a tickle, but for others it is akin to great sex. It is not unknown for people to experience what can only be described as ‘ear-gasms’. That may explain why some Vietnamese men don’t tell their wives when they pop out for some ear picking.

So, the next time you want to playfully lick your finger and stick it in your friend’s ear, just think, you may be giving him more than a wet willy!

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Bag-ette – the bag you can eat!

In Crazy YarpNews on May 2, 2014 at 12:52 pm

The Bag-ette - an ideal place to keep your dough

Fashion designers are well known for creating collections of unusual garb that although eye-catching on the cat walk have no practical purpose in our everyday lives. Who can forget Bjork’s swan dress or Britney Spears in her tartan diapers? However, in honour of Paris Fashion week, which started yesterday, Yarpnews thought we would share with our readers one of the more useful fashion designs, which is sure to become the toast of the high street.

The clever design team at Katja Gruijters (www.katjagruijters.nl) has used their loaf to come up with this handy bag-ette. This stylish bag is certainly a cut above the rest, made from bread, it’s a great place to store your dough and should you get hungry when you’re out and about, you’ve already got your hands on the beginnings of one great sandwich.

Whichever way you slice it, you can’t have your bag and eat it, but maybe that’s not such a crumby idea. Hopefully a larger suitcase version will soon be in development, so if you’re flying abroad and end up with excess baggage, you can eat it.

The three little pigs are wanted by the law

In Animals, Crazy YarpNews on March 3, 2014 at 12:23 pm

The three little piggies wanted by the cops

In a story reminiscent of the age-old fairy tale, three little Vietnamese pot bellied pigs have escaped from a farm in Southampton, England and are currently running amok within the city.

It would seem that a domestic dispute amongst the pigs owners lead to some swine leaving the pigs’ pen open and the three porkers took this as their cue to hit the road.

A spokesperson for the RSPCP said, “It’s a nightmare, as soon as they were free they split up. One little pig went to market, while another headed to town, while the third went off to look for some roast beef. They keep running into the roads, causing chaos with the traffic. We cannot have pigs in the city… at least not real ones.”

Hopefully, the pigs will be rounded up soon. Workers on the farm are preparing for their return, making each of them a new pen.

“We have spared no expense. We have used wood, brick and straw, materials they are already familiar with. They will be really impressed by their new accommodation. They should be as happy as pigs in shit in there. We just need a big bad wolf now to huff and puff and make them cry ‘wee, wee, wee’ all the way home.

The police are urging the public to get involved in the hunt and ask to be contacted should any pig be sighted. However they are advising people to be careful how they report the news to the emergency services operators.

“Obviously using the word ‘pig’ in front of a police officer won’t go down too well,” admitted Chief Constable Bobby Deskman, “In fact if you mentioned the word ’pig’ to  our operators they are liable to put the phone down on you. So, I suggest that anyone spotting any of these fugitive bacon makers should refer to them as the ‘pork chops’ or the ‘rasher dashers’ or something similar that won’t offend the pigs… um… I mean the police.”


Call the cops, my snowman is missing!

In Crazy YarpNews, Science/tech, World on February 13, 2014 at 3:04 pm
Where's my snowman gone?

Where’s my snowman gone?

It is terrible, but it’s true. Some thieving bastard has stolen a snowman right from outside its owner’s house. The distraught owner who wishes to remain anonymous, so we will call her Miss Nelly Shenko was so upset by the theft that she called the emergency services.

Unfortunately, even though the snowman had pound coins for his eyes and teaspoons for arms, the police remained uninterested in the theft.

“I ain’t being funny,” said Miss Shenko “I just thought that with it being icy out there and there not being anybody about, he’d be safe. It ain’t a nice road, but at the end of the day you don’t expect someone to nick your snowman.”

This snowman theft is the latest in a long line of random thefts that the police have had no interest in. So far a puddle that was recently stolen from the same area has not been recovered nor has a hole in a donut that went missing from Barry’s Burger Bar on the High Street at around 2.15pm last Wednesday.

Police have not warned the public to remain vigilant and have not asked for any witnesses to come forward. Typical!

The last two surviving speakers of a nearly extinct language are refusing to talk to each other

In Crazy YarpNews on April 24, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Ayapaneco is a very rare language. It is so rare that it is currently only spoken by two people: Manuel Segovia, 75, and Isidro Velazquez, 69. Unfortunately the two men appear to have had a falling out and are no longer speaking to each other.

No one knows what the pair’s disagreement was about. Words were said, but no one else understood them.

“When I was a boy everybody spoke it,” said Mr Segovia from his home in the southern Mexican village of Ayapa. “It has disappeared little by little and now I suppose it might die with me.”

At least that is what is believed he said. Mr Velazquez refused to comment.

Anyone interested in learning Ayapaneco before it completely disappears, will be pleased to know that Mr Segovia plans to hold classes every Wednesday at 6.30pm at Ayapa Community School. Mr Segovia has already brought the pencils and notebooks. Mr Velazquez will not be attending.

Where to hide if you’re on the run – on TV!

In Crazy YarpNews on February 27, 2011 at 12:31 pm

 

Have you seen this man?

If you have ever been wanted by the law, you will know that it is important to keep yourself hidden, out of the limelight and away from prying eyes. Maybe you would have to completely change your name and adopt a disguise. Of course you would also have to keep moving, never settling, never making friends. You would need to remain anonymous, just a drifter on the road who moves from town to town… or so you would have thought.

When Romanian, Viorel Plescan got in trouble for fraud in 2001, he came up with a very cunning plan. He decided he would hide where no one would ever expect to find him, right under everyone’s noses. The first step in his master plan was to simply pop across the border and marry a girl. With a new wife he could put into action the second part of his plan which was to change his name. As he quite liked ‘Viorel’ and was concerned that he may forget his new name, he decided to keep things simple by keeping his own first name and just swapping his old surname for that of his new wife. Viorel Plescan was now Viorel Andrei.

Disguise complete, the on the run Viorel decided to get himself a job. Lucikly, he managed to find a discreet position as an anchorman for Romania’s prime time TV programme SR TV.

For ten years, the disguised Viorel appeared on TV every day, broadcasting his mug throughout the nation… and no one noticed.

Unfortunately for the now suave, successful celebrity Viorel Andrei, Romanian cops weren’t influenced by fame and so when he got pulled over during a routine traffic stop, they decided to run a quick background check.

Two minutes later, the game was up. The police realized they had not only stopped a celebrity, but a wanted man.

Viorel must now serve eight years in jail for the conviction he got in 2001. In addition, he is also under investigation for using a false identity. Maybe the next time he is on the run disguised as a TV personality he might think about getting a cab.

Rooster gets revenge on owner who forced him to cock fight

In Crazy YarpNews on January 24, 2011 at 12:49 pm

A rebellious rooster who had been forced to take part in a cock fight took revenge on his owner by killing him.

Although incredibly cruel, cock fighting is still a very popular sport and to the villagers of Mohanpur, West Bengal, it is a great way to earn a few rupees – and if your bird wins, you also get a free chicken dinner (courtesy of their dead opponent).

Usually owners receive around $35 per fight, but on this fateful night one owner called Singai Song wanted to get his hands on some extra cash. So, instead of letting his prize winning cockerel rest between fights like the other birds, Mr Song forced his rooster back into the ring immediately after its first fight.

Understandably upset, the rooster tried to leave the ring several times, but Mr Song kept pushing him back in. After Mr Song accused him of being ‘chicken’ the bird was spitting feathers and he lashed out, directing the full force of his anger on to his bird brained owner.

Well, as anyone who has fought a prize winning cock will know, they are lethal opponents and unfortunately Mr Song was no match for his own bird. Within a few minutes of the fight starting Mr Song was laying dead, his throat slit by the razor blades he himself had attached to his rooster’s legs.

After the incident the fearful fowl flew the coop. Police are currently on the lookout for ‘an unknown rooster with black and red feathers’ that is believed to be armed and dangerous. If you see a bird matching that description do not approach it and certainly do not accuse it of being chicken.

 

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