Pavement artist’s sick joke

  

The real hole Mr Isithere dug

Pavement art by Mr Bob Isithere

After many years of drawing some of the best optical illusions seen by shoppers throughout Barnsley and similar naff sounding cities, Mr Bob Isithere confessed “No one gave me a penny for my work and I’d had enough. I thought sod em, and I began to form a plan.

“I snuck out in the middle of the night and instead of drawing a realistic looking hole, I dug a real hole. It took me a few hours and was really big. I was just admiring my work when some cocky kids came by. They had seen my pavement art before and they started to take the piss. They were hassling me about how shit my drawing was, saying how unrealistic it was…and then they just disappeared over the edge,” mumbled the murderer.

For the death of those two innocent yobs, Mr Isithere was sentenced to three weeks hard prison. Since his sentencing Mr Isithere has tried unsuccessfully to draw an escape route.

The secret to getting ahead in China

 

The ancient Chinese art of fake arm deception

A new photograph has recently been leaked from behind the red curtain revealing the secrets of ‘Zhi ka mo lai ang’ or ‘Limb of Chameleon’ – the Chinese ancient art of fake arm deception.

 

Handy for cheating at exams, surfing the net while you’re supposed to be studying and playing with your one eyed trouser snake.

HBA or ‘Hairy Back Art’ is even trendier than having a tattoo

A stylish number 8 design

On the fashionable beaches of Europe the surprisingly warm weather has seen the emergence of a new trend in body art. Less permanent than a tattoo, but proving to be just as popular, HBA or ‘Hairy Back Art’ has become the latest ‘must have’ look.

This big guy isn't afraid to show his heart

First spotted on the beaches and boardwalks of St Tropez, France – a town noted for inventing the G-string bikini, HBA has spread throughout Europe and it is set to take America by storm very soon.

“The back is a great canvas,” explained HBA Artist, Shaveen Derrière (24), “And we artists can create beautiful masterpieces. My work is very spiritual; I like to think that they are crop circles for the soul.

“HBA has become the trendiest look for today’s modern man,” gushed Mr Derrière. “And it is much cheaper than shaving.”